Bonnie Plants Likes To Mock Me...

Friday Magnuts brought home an item that the very site of brought dread to my heart. Not bad grades, not a letter from the Principal...a cabbage plant.

The bane of my elementary school existence, as a mom, the Bonnie Plant cabbage program. Crap.

Miss-D and MonkeyBoy both brought them home in 3rd grade...and I killed them both...the cabbages that is.

It might have worked out fine...Magnuts has a short memory...I could have planted it in the yard and he would have forgotten it...so its certain death would not have been a huge issue. Except that my brother-from-another-mother (my first cousin Andrew) happened to be visiting Friday. He happens to work for the devil Bonnie Plant company. He saw the dang thing and started telling Magnuts all about the $1000 he could win if his was the biggest in our area.

Magnuts was on fire...$1000...he was dreaming of Pokemon cards and whoopie cushions. The word "Scholarship" does not compute...he does not get that he can't just take a wad of cash to Wal-Mart.

So now the pressure was on me. I was trying to explain to Andrew my history with the stupid things. He told me just to leave it the little pot for a while and then plant it in the yard some place.

Well that is how Cabbage#1 bit it. They will not last in their little plastic pots for very long...and a month is definitely too long.

I told Andrew that I could not just go dig a hole and plant it in the yard. Our dogs are attracted to anything having to do with fresh dirt and will roll all over it killing the plant. I know this because that was the fate of Cabbage#2.

Andrew suggested that I go get some wood and BUILD a little raised garden....ahhhh....no. I told him that I would just throw it in one of the planters I already own.

Andrew: You know these things get pretty big...

Me: Not mine...

Andrew: Really, Laura they get huge. I don't think those pots are going to be big enough...

Me: What evah....

Shaking his head he got on my computer and pulled up pictures to drive his point home....

OMG.....

This was not even the biggest one. 40lbs is the AVERAGE size of one of these fully grown.

To make matters worse Andrew called Magnuts in to see these pictures...all the "OH WOWs" coming from my office attracted the other two FlyingMonkeys. When they laid eyes on the pics...well let’s just say...awkward.

MonkeyBoy: Ummmm, Mom...is that the same kind I had in 3rd grade?
Miss-D: What's this business about $1000...I didn't hear about that...
MonkeyBoy: I thought you said they were only supposed to live 2 weeks...

So with a heavy heart I am off to buy stuff to try and keep this thing alive….oh and some candy or something for the older two so they will stop giving me “the look.”