Dear Big Girl,

Yes you, the one discussing methods of...ummmm...feminine grooming, in public, with your skinny friend yesterday.

Your friend is a crack head. She does not love you. She is right about waxing, it will hurt like a mutha'. What she doesn't get, because her thighs have never had the pleasure of meeting, is that for a big girl what she is recommending would require a degree in mechanical science, a few dozen Xanax and a small miracle.

I understand that you don't want to use a razor, the resulting bumps can be painful and unsightly. So I get that once you ruled out wax and razors the next logical choice would be Nair. Sure it doesn't leave bumps or rip your top layer of skin off...but it comes with it's own set of issues.

As a fluffy girl myself, with the 3BabyBelly I considered how you might possibly achieve the decorative design that CrackHead decided would be perfect for your vajayjay. It can be done, but you are going to need to pick up a few things.

First, in order to fully expose the "area" you are going to need one of these:

Lets be honest, if you try this "grooming" in a standing position the only person who would recognize the design would be a mental patient taking a Rorschach test.

If you would like to breath during the 7-10 minutes you will need to leave the Nair on you will also need one of these:

When I lay flat on my back my 3BabyBoobies can hold my chin up. When you flip over everything is going south...you are gonna need an airway....unless you can breath through your ears.


I think it is safe to say that you will not be able to apply the depilatory from this position...neither of us has done a sit-up in recent memory. So...you are going to need a friend....a good friend...a good friend without a camera phone.

If this all seems like too much, let me recommend a better option...buy a bathing suit with a frickin skirt and get over it.

Your friend,

Laura