A funny thing happened...

I got an e-mail Friday from an associate casting director for CBS. She found me through my blog and wanted my phone number so that we could discuss any interest I might have in competing on a reality show.

Considering that my last few posts have dealt with a giant penis, me killing a snake, and a country singer being knocked out with a cold beer...I was wondering what kind of reality show they might be putting on....

The FlyingMonkeys were very excited by this whole thing, and while anything I get like that I worry about being all flim-flam shammy I decided to e-mail her my phone number.

Imagine my surprise when I got a call from her yesterday afternoon. She was a very nice young woman who did not seem offended in the least when I had to tell her "No Thank You."

Those of you who know me...prepare yourself- you may actually wet your pants...the show she wanted to talk to me about was........Survivor.

Survivor, really...me...BWAH HA HA HA HA!

I tried to think of the positives...

Pro-- Certain weight loss
Con-- Rice and rain water diet

I would be going from wondering what I could rustle up to sooth my sweet tooth to eating grilled rat hoping to get enough protein to get through the next day.

Pro-- Free "vacation" in an exotic place
Con-- Sharing vacation with various deadly indigenous animals

PETA would probably take exception to my kill it first identify it later animal control policy.

The million dollar prize could be quite an incentive....

But, imagine surviving weeks of starvation and discomfort...you suffer and in the end you prevail. They hand you a giant check for $1,000,000 and before you can get on the plane to come home the TaxMan cuts it in half...

So thanks for asking CBS, but, no thanks.

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Just a side note-

If you decided to go on Survivor and were told you could only bring one thing with you what would it be?

I considered a pair of corduroy pants so I could speed walk and win the fire starting challenge.