Because we got it at the Checkers in Sanford Florida son...
They were recently cited for storing the buns in the men's room. They were stacked floor to ceiling and less than 12 inches from the commode...but I am sure it was ok because we all know how clean the men's room is...not.
They were also keeping cups in there...that gives all new meaning to my boy's favorite drink...the Suicide.
There was "soil build-up" in the ice bin...and they were cited for storing onions on the floor of the walk-in cooler.
They had a total of 9 critical violations and are still open for business....
EWWWWWWWWWW....
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Stealing is fun.
Magnuts had a great game last night. He is the first batter...for reasons he doesn't care for. The soon to be 9 year old is 47 inches and 52lbs of high octane boy with a strike zone of about 4 inches. He is almost always walked. Make no mistake, if anything comes near his strike zone he is going to swing...but lately nothing really has.
What used to be his favorite part of the game, batting, is now the most boring to him. Never one to accept "boring" he has developed a new favorite...stealing...and he is good, very good at it. He may be small but he is quite fast.
Last night at his first at bat he was walked. Because no one was on base the catcher took his time getting the wild pitch back to the pitcher...so Magnuts simply rounded first base and stole 2nd...on a walk. Let me say that again-He was walked and STOLE 2nd.
The other team was stunned...and questioned the legality...totally legal.
He was a stealing machine. He batted twice, walked twice and scored twice.
So stealing is his lemonade from the no strike zone lemons....
What used to be his favorite part of the game, batting, is now the most boring to him. Never one to accept "boring" he has developed a new favorite...stealing...and he is good, very good at it. He may be small but he is quite fast.
Last night at his first at bat he was walked. Because no one was on base the catcher took his time getting the wild pitch back to the pitcher...so Magnuts simply rounded first base and stole 2nd...on a walk. Let me say that again-He was walked and STOLE 2nd.
The other team was stunned...and questioned the legality...totally legal.
He was a stealing machine. He batted twice, walked twice and scored twice.
So stealing is his lemonade from the no strike zone lemons....
Monday, April 28, 2008
Anger Management
I think I may have a problem.
I have managed to tick off 3 different families...not including the lady this morning.
Last year at this time Miss-D was preparing for the Student UN. She had a substitute teacher who was "prepping" them during English class. Miss-D's group was to be lead by this substitute and the country they would be representing was in Africa. The teacher spent most of English class talking about rape and genocide...I took exception. It was not until she sent Miss-D home with 3 college papers that I lost my mind. They described in graphic detail the use of rape as a weapon. A weapon designed to spread HIV. The first paragraph of one of the papers was a detailed account of a large family being slaughtered and/or raped in their church. It talked about a father watching his son's head being removed, watching his daughters and wife being raped, and then his own brutal death.
If this were a movie it would have been rated R for subject matter alone. Most of the graphic details would never have been filmed because they were just too horrific. So I was a tad pissed that someone would give things like that to my 6th grade daughter. The Principal agreed and the substitute has never forgiven me.
Did I mention that she has a son in MonkeyBoy's class...one of his best friends...
At the beginning of this year some of you will remember MonkeyBoy's unfortunate drawing that detailed the steps for making a Mentos/Coke "bomb." The step mother of a classmate found the drawing in her son's room and dragged her step son to school the next morning screaming to the principal that she had "found Internet bomb making plans" in his room. She threw her step son and my son under the bus because she didn't know what a Mento was. She believed the Internet to be evil...or as she said "from the devil."
So...needless to say MonkeyBoy has not been invited over to her house to spend the night...not that I would let him go.
And finally this very Friday I lost my cool again. After school MonkeyBoy told me that a classmate had offered him dip during PE. I told him to stay as far away from the kid as possible. That night he had a baseball game and while walking from our car to the field we ran into this kid....well the boys did. Magnuts yelled that this kid was trying to talk to MonkeyBoy...I whipped around and spotted him. Not hard to do considering that this kid is as big as my husband. I called his name, twice...loudly. I then told him that I knew what he had done at school that day and that I was not having it...that he had better stay away from my sons and that if I heard about it again there would be consequences. I then asked him if I had made myself clear.
I proceeded to the fields and asked around to try and find out who this kid's mother was. I really wanted to talk to her...I felt like I should explain what was going on...and why I had just shouted at her son on the school playground. No one had any idea who she was or where she was...not a problem because she found me.
The first words out of her mouth were, "do you have a problem with my son?" I answered honestly, "yes." I explained what had happened at school, at which point her son started throwing his arms in the air protesting that he could not have possibly had dip since he had no way to purchase it. I looked his mother in the eye and told her, "my son was offered dip from a can that your son had in his right front pocket. They were standing over their by home plate when it happened during PE and he saw him spitting the mess through the fence."
To this she said, "you should have come to me, not my son." She was right and I told her so. I said that until this conversation I did not know who she was but now that I did I would always come to her first...stuck out my hand and introduced my self. I went on to tell her that almost ten 7th grade boys had been suspended that very day for having dip in their lockers. I asked her how she would feel if her son came to her and told her that someone had offered him and illegal substance at school....
I doubt it, but I sincerely hope that she does some serious searching through that boys things.
Of course MonkeyBoy ended up eating it on this one too, the boys on his team called him a snitch. I could have prevented that by holding my temper...
So I guess it was no surprise to the other parents this morning when I laid on my horn because someone broke in front of my in the school drop-off line. I had allowed a two car-length space between me and the next car in line so that people trying to leave the school could get out. This doofus decided to jump into that space just as a lady was using it to leave the school parking lot.
Anger management issues or an unfortunate set of circumstances? discuss.
I have managed to tick off 3 different families...not including the lady this morning.
Last year at this time Miss-D was preparing for the Student UN. She had a substitute teacher who was "prepping" them during English class. Miss-D's group was to be lead by this substitute and the country they would be representing was in Africa. The teacher spent most of English class talking about rape and genocide...I took exception. It was not until she sent Miss-D home with 3 college papers that I lost my mind. They described in graphic detail the use of rape as a weapon. A weapon designed to spread HIV. The first paragraph of one of the papers was a detailed account of a large family being slaughtered and/or raped in their church. It talked about a father watching his son's head being removed, watching his daughters and wife being raped, and then his own brutal death.
If this were a movie it would have been rated R for subject matter alone. Most of the graphic details would never have been filmed because they were just too horrific. So I was a tad pissed that someone would give things like that to my 6th grade daughter. The Principal agreed and the substitute has never forgiven me.
Did I mention that she has a son in MonkeyBoy's class...one of his best friends...
At the beginning of this year some of you will remember MonkeyBoy's unfortunate drawing that detailed the steps for making a Mentos/Coke "bomb." The step mother of a classmate found the drawing in her son's room and dragged her step son to school the next morning screaming to the principal that she had "found Internet bomb making plans" in his room. She threw her step son and my son under the bus because she didn't know what a Mento was. She believed the Internet to be evil...or as she said "from the devil."
So...needless to say MonkeyBoy has not been invited over to her house to spend the night...not that I would let him go.
And finally this very Friday I lost my cool again. After school MonkeyBoy told me that a classmate had offered him dip during PE. I told him to stay as far away from the kid as possible. That night he had a baseball game and while walking from our car to the field we ran into this kid....well the boys did. Magnuts yelled that this kid was trying to talk to MonkeyBoy...I whipped around and spotted him. Not hard to do considering that this kid is as big as my husband. I called his name, twice...loudly. I then told him that I knew what he had done at school that day and that I was not having it...that he had better stay away from my sons and that if I heard about it again there would be consequences. I then asked him if I had made myself clear.
I proceeded to the fields and asked around to try and find out who this kid's mother was. I really wanted to talk to her...I felt like I should explain what was going on...and why I had just shouted at her son on the school playground. No one had any idea who she was or where she was...not a problem because she found me.
The first words out of her mouth were, "do you have a problem with my son?" I answered honestly, "yes." I explained what had happened at school, at which point her son started throwing his arms in the air protesting that he could not have possibly had dip since he had no way to purchase it. I looked his mother in the eye and told her, "my son was offered dip from a can that your son had in his right front pocket. They were standing over their by home plate when it happened during PE and he saw him spitting the mess through the fence."
To this she said, "you should have come to me, not my son." She was right and I told her so. I said that until this conversation I did not know who she was but now that I did I would always come to her first...stuck out my hand and introduced my self. I went on to tell her that almost ten 7th grade boys had been suspended that very day for having dip in their lockers. I asked her how she would feel if her son came to her and told her that someone had offered him and illegal substance at school....
I doubt it, but I sincerely hope that she does some serious searching through that boys things.
Of course MonkeyBoy ended up eating it on this one too, the boys on his team called him a snitch. I could have prevented that by holding my temper...
So I guess it was no surprise to the other parents this morning when I laid on my horn because someone broke in front of my in the school drop-off line. I had allowed a two car-length space between me and the next car in line so that people trying to leave the school could get out. This doofus decided to jump into that space just as a lady was using it to leave the school parking lot.
Anger management issues or an unfortunate set of circumstances? discuss.
Friday, April 25, 2008
She is straight...
I took Miss-D to art on Wednesday only to find out that it was picture day...of course we were not prepared for that...but the teacher insisted she stay.
When I went back to pick her up someone had "fixed" her up for the picture. They had straightened her hair and applied a ton of makeup.
Her hair looked nice. She has always wanted straight hair and I have resisted...but when I saw how happy she was, and when she told me she felt pretty...I took her to the store to buy a straightening iron. I did not freak when I read on the package that the thing gets up to 400 degrees...I did not let myself worry about a hair fire...I tried to focus on her being happy.
It is just hard for me to believe that in just a few years we went from this:
When I went back to pick her up someone had "fixed" her up for the picture. They had straightened her hair and applied a ton of makeup.
Her hair looked nice. She has always wanted straight hair and I have resisted...but when I saw how happy she was, and when she told me she felt pretty...I took her to the store to buy a straightening iron. I did not freak when I read on the package that the thing gets up to 400 degrees...I did not let myself worry about a hair fire...I tried to focus on her being happy.
It is just hard for me to believe that in just a few years we went from this:
To this:
Y'all pray for us...
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Twilight Zone...
Tuesday I went to Lowes...and I saw something...something the was so bizarre that at first my brain could not process it.
There was a lady holding what appeared to be a little girl in her left arm...appeared...until I noticed the leash around her right arm...and that the little girl was a little hairy...
It was a frickin monkey. A monkey in a dress with a baby blanket. A monkey...in Lowes...in South Alabama...
There was a lady holding what appeared to be a little girl in her left arm...appeared...until I noticed the leash around her right arm...and that the little girl was a little hairy...
It was a frickin monkey. A monkey in a dress with a baby blanket. A monkey...in Lowes...in South Alabama...
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Giving him the finger...
Lately Magnuts has been acting a little off. He is quick to tears and easily frustrated...kind of like me when I am getting sick or have PMS. Since PMS is not an option I have been watching out for a fever or...little spots all over his body.
I have since come to believe that he is just whipped. I have been making a special effort to make sure he is in bed as early as possible. So maybe having spend the night company was not such a good idea Saturday night.
When his friend went home Sunday afternoon Magnuts got upset because we never played kick ball. He actually broke down.
I was worried that his friend might give him a hard time about it. On the ride home from school Monday I asked him about it. He told me that the boy told everyone what a good time he had had and that he wasn't worried about him telling about the crying part because he had "pinky promised" not to.
MonkeyBoy laughed in surprise..."You pinky promised! really?!?!?"
I glanced at Magnuts to see how he would handle being mocked by his big brother. I need not have worried...he reminded me again just how resilient kids can be....
With a devilish grin on his face and a shrug of his shoulders he responded, "What can I say, I'm just a pinky promise kind of guy..."
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
I see London I see France...
Last night Magnuts and MonkeyBoy both had home games. I arrived at the parking lot at 5:30 and saw something...hilarious. There was a man standing by his truck in his UNDERPANTS!
I watched him lean into his truck to grab his pants and was reaching for my horn...I was already giggling at the thought of him smacking the crap out of his head when he jumped...and noticed that his shirt had the word Umpire on it. Then I saw him in profile...it was the Ump...Mr. AssiveAggressive .
I decided to let it go and began to make my way to the field...laughing so hard I almost wet my pants. Of course I let all the other parents know what I had just seen and there were all kinds of jokes about the "count" being 0 and 0.
The stat book that I keep has to be signed by the umps, it should be done before the game but because AssiveAggressive was late I didn't have time. After the game was over I walked over to where he was sitting in the dug out.
I held out the book and asked him to please sign it. He did not reach out to take it and was giving me a look. Mr. AssiveAggressive was acting like he was not going to sign it...and so...
I spoke before I thought...and this is what I said:
"Hey Ump, since I have seen you in your underpants the least you can do is give me your autograph..."
You should have seen his face.
He signed the book.
*****
On a totally unrelated subject....this weekend Rob and I were talking and I said something that made me laugh.
We were talking about being a 2nd hand smoker...and I said, " Yeah, I am a second hand smoker...I got smoke in my nare and now my legs smell ah Gouda...."
When he didn't laugh I was all "nare, you know sounds like Nair but means nostril....Gouda, a cheese that is often smoked..."
He didn't laugh and now believes that I am insane.
I watched him lean into his truck to grab his pants and was reaching for my horn...I was already giggling at the thought of him smacking the crap out of his head when he jumped...and noticed that his shirt had the word Umpire on it. Then I saw him in profile...it was the Ump...Mr. AssiveAggressive .
I decided to let it go and began to make my way to the field...laughing so hard I almost wet my pants. Of course I let all the other parents know what I had just seen and there were all kinds of jokes about the "count" being 0 and 0.
The stat book that I keep has to be signed by the umps, it should be done before the game but because AssiveAggressive was late I didn't have time. After the game was over I walked over to where he was sitting in the dug out.
I held out the book and asked him to please sign it. He did not reach out to take it and was giving me a look. Mr. AssiveAggressive was acting like he was not going to sign it...and so...
I spoke before I thought...and this is what I said:
"Hey Ump, since I have seen you in your underpants the least you can do is give me your autograph..."
You should have seen his face.
He signed the book.
*****
On a totally unrelated subject....this weekend Rob and I were talking and I said something that made me laugh.
We were talking about being a 2nd hand smoker...and I said, " Yeah, I am a second hand smoker...I got smoke in my nare and now my legs smell ah Gouda...."
When he didn't laugh I was all "nare, you know sounds like Nair but means nostril....Gouda, a cheese that is often smoked..."
He didn't laugh and now believes that I am insane.
Monday, April 21, 2008
The CDC and you...
A conversation with my cousin this weekend:
A-So I hear Miss-D has the pox?
Me-Yeah and 30 minutes after we got home from the Pharmacy the CDC called me asking all kinds of questions...
A-WHAT? WHY?
Me-They wanted to know how many spots she had, how many people lived in the house, their ages, if any of us had had it before, did any of us have spots now....
A-Damn, those people at the pharmacy are nosey why do they need to know all that?!?
Me- CDC not CVS genius...the center for disease control...
The CDC did call and had a hundred questions. As I was on the phone with them we were interrupted by a fax they were receiving from Miss-D's school...her blue slip.
At Magnuts' baseball game Friday night I found out that the school sent home a letter that day. A letter explaining that there had been enough cases for the CDC to call it an Outbreak.
They will be calling me back today to ask questions that will determine if I can send her back to school tomorrow.
You would think that I was housing Ebola infected Rhesus monkeys instead of a kid with Chicken Pox.
A-So I hear Miss-D has the pox?
Me-Yeah and 30 minutes after we got home from the Pharmacy the CDC called me asking all kinds of questions...
A-WHAT? WHY?
Me-They wanted to know how many spots she had, how many people lived in the house, their ages, if any of us had had it before, did any of us have spots now....
A-Damn, those people at the pharmacy are nosey why do they need to know all that?!?
Me- CDC not CVS genius...the center for disease control...
The CDC did call and had a hundred questions. As I was on the phone with them we were interrupted by a fax they were receiving from Miss-D's school...her blue slip.
At Magnuts' baseball game Friday night I found out that the school sent home a letter that day. A letter explaining that there had been enough cases for the CDC to call it an Outbreak.
They will be calling me back today to ask questions that will determine if I can send her back to school tomorrow.
You would think that I was housing Ebola infected Rhesus monkeys instead of a kid with Chicken Pox.
Friday, April 18, 2008
Itchy Witchy
There are some things in life that should NEVER be combined. Things like bleach and ammonia or a 13 year old girl with PMS and Chicken Pox.
Sweet merciful God...the first combo will only result in a little mustard gas...the second is actually scary.
I got the call from school at 11am...the Doc-in-a-Box confirmed Pox and we were in front of the drug store by 11:45. The doc recommended an oatmeal bath.
My first clue should have been when Miss-D asked me to get the "Cinnamon" kind....
She expected me to to come lumbering out of the store with a 100lb bag of Quaker Instant Oats on my back...
A warm bath and her favorite breakfast...you can see why she was a little pissy.
We spent the evening saying things like this:
"Boys just leave her alone"
"Boys just stay away from her"
"Yes I know she is being a wench, just move along"
She was laid out on the sofa with pillows and a blanket. She had a little table next to her with juice, a snack and the remote....
All one had to do to earn her wrath was come NEAR her...breach her perimeter and she went off like a howler monkey.
Finally I heard myself telling her, "You have Chicken Pox. You do not have the plague or cancer...suck it up and shut it. You WILL stop shrieking and hissing or I will send your little pock covered behind to your room for the duration!"
*****
To be continued...Monday's Topic- The CDC And You.....
Sweet merciful God...the first combo will only result in a little mustard gas...the second is actually scary.
I got the call from school at 11am...the Doc-in-a-Box confirmed Pox and we were in front of the drug store by 11:45. The doc recommended an oatmeal bath.
My first clue should have been when Miss-D asked me to get the "Cinnamon" kind....
She expected me to to come lumbering out of the store with a 100lb bag of Quaker Instant Oats on my back...
A warm bath and her favorite breakfast...you can see why she was a little pissy.
We spent the evening saying things like this:
"Boys just leave her alone"
"Boys just stay away from her"
"Yes I know she is being a wench, just move along"
She was laid out on the sofa with pillows and a blanket. She had a little table next to her with juice, a snack and the remote....
All one had to do to earn her wrath was come NEAR her...breach her perimeter and she went off like a howler monkey.
Finally I heard myself telling her, "You have Chicken Pox. You do not have the plague or cancer...suck it up and shut it. You WILL stop shrieking and hissing or I will send your little pock covered behind to your room for the duration!"
*****
To be continued...Monday's Topic- The CDC And You.....
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Build a little bird house in your soul...
As I bent to pick up the gas can to fill the mower something flew over my shoulder close enough to ruffle my hair.
I looked to my right and saw this:
Our pool all packed up from the summer...and a little brown bird has made a nest and filled it with 5 or 6 eggs.
Any idea what kind of bird lays white eggs with pink/red speckles?
I looked to my right and saw this:
Our pool all packed up from the summer...and a little brown bird has made a nest and filled it with 5 or 6 eggs.
Any idea what kind of bird lays white eggs with pink/red speckles?
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