So last night I went to Magnuts' game. I have to attend all of his because I keep the books. Because I keep the books I sit as close to home plate as possible so that I can hear the ump.
Last night I secured my seat and began getting the line-ups written down as other parents filed in. The first batter was up...the first pitch was thrown...it was close and the ump made no audible or physical call. The second, then the third and even a 4th pitch...still no audible or physical sign of the count. The score board showed a 1 and 1 count, impossible with 4 pitches thrown. I asked one of the parents next to me if they had heard a count...they had not. No one knew the count, so very politely I said, "hey, ump...what is the count."
All of the parents looked at me.
So I said again..."Sir, can you give me the count..."
By this time everyone around me has decided that he can not hear me.
"HEY BLUE, CAN I GET THE COUNT...PLEASE."
In the nicest loud voice humanly possible...really.
By this time the first batter was on first, walked we guessed because he didn't hit the ball and it didn't hit him.
By now other people are asking him for the count. Then the coaches wife asked him to please state the count for our bookkeeping...and she said it in a normal tone.
He stopped the game, stalked over to me and told me off... and not in the nicest way possible. He told me that I was not allowed to ask for the count that he would give the count when he felt like it...and so on.
I was so taken aback I just stared at him.
At this point, as he was walking back to the plate, the Mom behind me yelled "HEY BLUE! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE TALKING TO YOUR ELDER LIKE THAT!"
He turned on his heel and came back to give me a little more lip. I was still stunned...but I did manage to squeak "I didn't say it."
Because if I had said it I can promise you I would not have used the word ELDER...
The rest of the evening didn't go any better. The ump, being the passive aggressive ass that he is, continued to be mute on the count. It was so bad that 6 different batters continued to stand at the plate at the ready position when they should have been on first base. They had been walked and had no idea.
The good news is that I did not become ThatParent and end up ejected from the park...the bad news is AssiveAgressiveUmp will be calling our game Friday.