Magnuts had his first game last night. While getting dressed he decided that his new sliders were "itchy" and asked me for baby powder. Of course we were out, but I did find a box of Old Spice Body Talc, circa 1950. Magnuts, after being assured by MonkeyBoy that it was a manly smell, proceeded to dump half of it right down his pants.
When he got up to bat he was walked on 4 straight balls...he has a strike zone of about 4 centimeters. In a daring move the coach encouraged him to steal second...he ran and then slid safely resulting in a spectacular cloud of red dust and Old Spice.
I am keeping the books for Magnuts' team this year. The coach wants me to keep the stats for every single pitch thrown to get a better idea of how we are doing offensively and defensively. Last night I sat right behind the batters box to make sure I could keep up with the count. I think our Ump was training in Mime...I couldn't hear a word that he said... I had to keep watching his hands.
BTW...I am surprised at the people who will heckle the Ump. It always ends up being the quiet preppy Moms that are so composed and polite at practice...and they can be brutal. It is disconcerting to watch a woman dig through a monogrammed diaper bag for a coordinating monogrammed burp cloth while screaming..."HEY BLUE HE IS GONNA NEED A 5 IRON IF THAT IS THE STRIKE ZONE"
You just know you are going to see one of these women on the news:
Disgruntled female fan knocks umpire unconscious when she hurled a full Nuk baby bottle from the third row bleachers....Stunned witness comments, "she was always such a quiet woman"...