While laying still and praying that I would be better by 3pm I was trying to figure out what would be the easiest thing to make for dinner. Waffles from the freezer, microwave bacon and cheese grits....The only problem with this was not that there wasn't a veggie in site but that we were out of syrup.
By 3 I did feel better and headed off to pick up the kids. Those of you who know me will agree that I am not a Fashionista....but I was looking rough even for me-paint stained red shorts, skanky blue t-shirt with a little hole under the arm, hot pink Crocs, headache hair and of course...no bra. So after I picked up the kids I sent MonkeyBoy into the gas/grocery store next to their school with a $10 and instructions to get a bottle of syrup. I told him, "Do not buy it if it is clear or yellow...we need the maple pancake kind not corn syrup."
3:05 he entered the store......
3:20 I sent Miss-D in to check on him......
3:30 Both of them were still in the store, apparently "check on him" in pre-teen means go lay your eyes on him and then chit-chat with your friends....
****Just to clarify-I was parked in front of the door. There was never any question that they were inside and safe*****
At 3:35 just as my patience had run out and I was considering going in even though I was dressed like a color blind schizophrenic escapee from Cops, the kids came out of the store with a big bag of stuff.
MonkeyBoy cracked open his bag and started handing out bottles of coke..(down here "coke" means pop, soda, cola..). He had a drink for himself and his brother and sister...then he handed me a bottle.....OF YELLOW CORN SYRUP!!!!!!!!!!
I am ashamed to say that I almost completely and totally lost my mind. "DOES THIS LOOK LIKE WHAT WE EAT ON PANCAKES???? WHAT COLOR IS THIS????? DID YOU NOT NOTICE THE BISCUITS ON THE LABEL???IF YOU ARE SPENDING MY MONEY WHY DID EVERYONE GET A DRINK BUT ME????
*breath......breath.......breath....count to 10, lather, rinse repeat....*
"MonkeyBoy....I want you to take the change, go back in, get a container of jelly and a Diet Drink for me. Do not screw around this time... please. We have already been here 30+ minutes and my head is starting to hurt again."
3:40 MonkeyBoy re-entered the store
3:45 My head was beginning to pound again and I was kicking my own arse for letting him go back in....
3:50 Considered sending Miss-D in after him...remembered that it didn't go well the first time....
3:55 MonkeyBoy emerged from the store with........a diet pepsi...they didn't have jelly...
So for those of you who have forgotten.....We only stopped at the store because we needed something to put on our waffles. In the almost 1 hour period we waited at the stinkin store we ended up with 4 drinks we didn't need (we were 6 miles from our house) and a yucko bottle of corn syrup.
I tell this story because the kids used the last of the milk this morning for breakfast. I am typing this wearing nice tan shorts, a clean unstained t-shirt and .....a bra. I will be running in the store after I drop them off.....lesson learned.
7 comments:
"I was dressed like a color blind schizophrenic escapee from Cops."
HAHAHAHHAHHHAHHAHAHa! Best description evah!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA This is one of your greatest posts!
CAN'T A WOMAN GET A FRIGGIN DIET COKE?!?! For the love!!!
oh shit, you may want to sell them on Ebay and try for new kids. Ones that know the difference between corn syrup and maple syrup.
Next time go for cereal.
Stumbled across your blog by way of Busy Mom. This post had me laughing like a hyena, and I'm at work right now. Definitely adding you to my blog roll. Hope that final trip to the store did the trick!
Nikki-sad thing is it was a perfect description....
SuperB'sMom-Thanks so much!
Phoenix-Um...Ebay has a policy against that that includes calling DHR...not that I would know first hand...it's just what I hear....
Chris-Glad I gave you a laugh...Thanks so much for stopping by!!
Oy! That sounds like something my kids would do.
I can totally picture it! :)
i am cracking up!!! i can just see you in your car cussing them under your breath!!!! Did Monkey boy think he had the assignment to spend every penny first, then find something syrup like to get w/ the change?! LMAO-kl
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