Dear Jenny,

Re: Architeuthis

Last night we found ourselves in a TV void and ended up watching two hours of DSC. I have been reading The Bloggess and Mama Drama for long enough that I should have just turned away...but I didn't.

Two hours of giant squid. They discussed the fact that they had never seen a living one...as they were examining a 30 foot dead one.

They have all kinds of theories about their behavior in their natural habitat. They feel that the GiantSquid is a gentle giant. Shy and timid. Yeah...these are the same guys who tell us that rattlesnakes are more afraid of me than I am of them...

Timid my arse...and I knew this before the end of the show. It has an eye the SIZE OF A HUMAN HEAD and 26 foot long tentacles with hundreds of suckers on them...and they are not just suckers, each suction cup has a rigid serrated ring around it...to dig into it's prey's flesh...

You should have seen this poor Sperm Whale's head. He had giant circular scars from an encounter with one of the GiantSquidsOfDeath.

In the end they reeled up a camera that had been sitting 3000 feet down in the ocean....and an extremely long, still moving, tentacle. After close examination of the footage from the camera they have determined that the GSOD is no gentle giant. It is a fast moving, aggressive, squishy killer.

I had bad dreams.

I should have listened.

What do I do now?

Please advise...