How to mess with your new nurse:

Step 1. Bring leftover meatloaf, the kind full of chunks of onions and bell peppers, to work for lunch

Step 2. Fill stool sample cup with meatloaf and label it with a patients name

Step 3. Tell your new nurse that the sample needs to be checked for blood

Step 4. When nurse returns to your office to tell you that they ran the test and that it was positive tell them that the test was not sufficient to determine the true cause of the problem.

Step 5. Have the nervous nurse bring the sample to your office for closer examination.

Step 6. Take the "sample" from the nurse and begin digging through it with a tongue depressor while explaining that sometimes more unorthodox methods are required to produce a diagnosis.

Step 7. Tell nurse that there is only one real way to test stool for these particular symptoms as you use the tongue depressor to scoop a giant hunk of the "stool" into your mouth.

Step 8. Let nurse in one the joke before he does the old technicolor yawn all over your office floor.