The thing that confused me was the size of the pool that the slides emptied into. It was HUGE. I just couldn't figure out why on earth it needed to be larger than an Olympic sized pool.
It all became clear....
Magnuts and I grabbed our innertubes and climbed the 6 billion stairs to the launch platform. He was going first (mistake #1) on his tummy. The attendant held the innertube for him while he got situated and then gave him a nudge...off he went. I decided to go belly down too (mistake #2); the attendant counted to five and shoved me down the slide.
A few things that should have been considered---
1. I weigh a considerable bit more than Magnuts, hence I would travel a GREAT deal faster down the slide than he would.
2. Going face down eliminated the two things that could have slowed me down ( hooters and the "I've had 3 kids belly") thus making me, for the first time in 12 years, aerodynamic.
A few seconds into it I realized that there was a very real chance that I would catch up to Magnuts and seeing as how I was now a "mommy missile of mass destruction" there could be trouble. I began yelling, "Magnuts! hurry get out of the way!!!! Momma is coming in a little hot!" Don't know why I bothered, since I at that point I was going faster than the speed of sound.
The end of the slide was in sight....I was praying that there was no human being anywhere near the opening of the tube....
I hit the pool just as I was nearing the speed of light and skipped like a giant Mom shaped stone 15 or 16 times all the way across the pool, finally stopping near the stairs.
Some clapped, some just stared in horror.....
And that my friends, is why the pool is so frickin big.
***HEY!!!! I just noticed that this my 101th post...I totally missed 100....Dang I feel like I just saw my odometer roll to 100,001....
9 comments:
YOU are funny! Isn't it cool how when something that in other times in our lives we may have ignored instead we think, "Hmmmm, how can I blog this?" That sounded really garbled, didn't it? It's too early. Maybe in a few hours I'll figure out how to say it right...
Anyway, I'll definately be checking your blog again!
Again, I wet myself laughing. I've gotta stop reading. Thanks for the daily humor. :)
I love the imagery of you rocketing off of the twisty-slide, I'm glad you were met with applause, I would have been the first to start clapping at the spectacle! :)
You've GOT to explain your wedding day at some point, popcorn and crutches??
That's hilarious--you convey the humor very well! Thanks for your kind words and be warned--the mean girls have only just begun, bless your heart!
Not even sure how I got here - maybe "Mama Drama" but that is flippin' A hysterical! Thanks.
Better than losing the top or standing up with the major wedgie right!?!?
That was hilarious! OMG! I think I peed a little! ROFLMAO!
OMG, I am laughing so hard...that was too darn funny. I could just see you skipping like a rock on a pond! Great post. Thanks for the chuckle. I'll know to never go face first down one of those things!
I'll remember that. Going to Orlando soon, hitting the slides-will keep in check and not make any mistakes.....
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