Discover this...

On the Discover web page:

Discover Card: Brighter. See how you can spend smarter with Discover Card

I know the #1 way!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Get a card in someone else's name and go nuts! All of the fun and none of the responsibility...Discover can make this dream a reality for some of your skanky neighbors too!!!

I ruined it for my neighbors...the ready to use card was delivered to the person (ME) and not the street address(SKANK THIEF).

I called Discover...only to "Discover" that they should not be allowed to use the word "Brighter" anywhere on their web page.

To prove that I was the real slim shady and not the fake slim skanky I had to drive 20 minutes to the nearest large "department" store with a customer service department. In our case that would be a Lowes....after 30 minutes we finally convinced the geniuses at Discover that I was the one and only Reevesfarm.

Once my ID was confirmed the tenor of the conversation went from hostile to apathetic. I wanted information about who had done this and they didn't give a rip. Between repeatedly saying "I don't know" and stifling yawns the fraud dept. person suggested that I file a police report. It was a Sunday so I had the pleasure of doing so at the county Jail...fun.

Later that same day I called Discover's fraud department to see if I could garner any more information about the original application:

Me: So how was the did they apply for this card?

Discover: Uhhhh...it says here...Telemarketing...

Me: Well what does that mean?

Discover: Uhhhh...by phone I think.

Me: Uh, yeah...but did you call them or did they call you????

Discover: Uhhh...it doesn't say.

Me: Was that call at least recorded?

Discover: no

Me: How did you approve a $5000 credit card when the birth date, address, and phone number did not match the name and SSN?

Discover:...............

Me: No signature, no recording of the call, nothing and you gave them a $5000 card in my frickin name!

Discover:............

Me: Can you give me ANY information that was collected in the application that might be helpful?

Discover: No

At some point I talked to another Fraud Dept. person, she told me that if Discover does not lose money that they do nothing. After providing me with NO additional information she did say that she would be happy to talk to the local police Investigator handling my case. I got her extension so that the investigator could reach her directly...he left a message and she did not return his call...or had not a couple of days later. Thanks so much.

When the investigator told me that he could not get the people at Discover to return his calls I tried again. The investigator was finally able to speak to someone...only to find out that Discover could not even tell him if the caller/applicant was male or female.

The geniuses that applied used their real address and phone number...but there are 4 adults that have access to that phone...when Discover can not even narrow the applicant down to male or female it makes my chance of successful prosecution slim.

There is always going to be that scumbag who steals from hardworking people...but having a company like Discover behave in such a reckless and callous way is mind boggling. I should be able to file criminal charges against you for abetting the bad guys.

Good burps gone bad...

So yesterday...right after lunch...two boys in MonkeyBoy's grade greeted each other by burping their names. The first boy got through his friends name with no problems...the second looked great through the first name and then he VOMITED ALL OVER THE FIRST BOY as he attempted to start his last name.


For lunch: chocolate milk, ham & cheese sammies, and raspberry sherbet....


Good times.

Magnuts the hawkeye...

Making a pass through the Christmas section in our local Wal-Mart Magnuts spotted something amazing...

Do you see it?

That's right...the word "ASS" is clearly printed on the right side of this box....and every box we checked.

After a little investigation we are pretty sure that it was supposed to say "Celebrity Backstage Pass" not..."Celebrity Ass"

I laughed...I snorted...I may have even been wheezing a little by the end of it....

Meet Penelope...

When Miss-D went to close her bedroom doors this morning before school she found her bird in this odd situation. Miss-D had left the little lid off the top of the bird seed container and Penelope squeezed her feathered butt right through the small circular opening in the top. She was either unwilling or unable to get out...I am leaning towards unwilling considering that she tried to bite Miss-D repeatedly as she tried to extricate the goofy bird.