Wednesday, June 27, 2007

It's Dead Already, Put Down the Gun....

Ok, today was Reptile day at the library, I sat in the back. I did learn that there are more types of salamanders in Alabama (43) than in all of the rain forests in the world combined....yipee....

When the Reptile Guy started talking about the 6 types of venomous snakes that can be found in Alabama a little bitty girl in the front row piped up, "My Uncle killed a rattlesnake with his gun." I thought Reptile Guy was going to stroke out on the spot.

We also learned that ALL lizards have ears and eyelids, then we were asked what this was:



If you said snake then you are wrong...this is a glass lizard. Honestly, there is not a chance in hell that I am going to get close enough to this thing to check for tiny little ears and eyelids. While the Reptile Guy was blathering on and on about this alleged "lizard" I happened to hear the guy behind me whisper to one of the other fathers - "Once you cut it's head off its snake." Glad Reptile Guy didn't catch that one....

Then of course we got to the venomous snakes of Alabama, more specifically the Coral snake. Reptile Guy went over the rhyme - Red next to yellow = will kill a fellow Red next to black = friend of Jack. The little girl with the snake killing uncle screams, "Who's Jack?"

When it was time to bring out the animals Reptile Guy goes over a list of rules. His #1 rule, and I quote, "All of the animals I brought with me today are ALIVE, so when I take them home with me this afternoon they need to still all be ALIVE." Huh, wonder what happened to make this rule #1?

The FlyingMonkeys all touched the animals, a king snake, a glass lizard and 2 different kinds of salamanders....When Miss-D was holding this enormous salamander the Reptile Guy used a spray bottle to wet the thing.....Miss-D freaked and just about launched the salamander to the ceiling. Reptile Guy dropped the water bottle, started flailing his arms like some crazy human windmill and said something like this: "Bah daaahda gaah nooooooo ugg." Guess the reason for Rule #1 is starting to become clear.

When it was time for the FlyingMonkeys to hold the snake I had to make a point, "You can touch this snake but NEVER EVER touch or get near one in our yard. Not even if you are just checking for eyelids and ears, DON'T GET NEAR IT."

I guess Reptile Guy thought I was a little harsh/crazy, but I bet he did not find this in his yard last summer:

This rattlesnake was less that 15 feet from our back door. It was in an area that the kids normally play; and it was coiled to strike.

**On a side note-Mr. No Shoulders will continue to move even after it is dead, there is no need to keep screaming and shooting.**

15 comments:

Bananas said...

aaaaaahhhhh!!!!! (that's me screaming) If I saw THAT in my yard there would be some VIOLENCE against a snake going on!!

Kathy said...

Oh no, there would be much screaming and shooting, and reloading and more shooting.
I'm not sure how accurately I aim what with all the screaming.
The pictures alone gave me goosebumps.

Betti said...

THAT snake in YOUR yard? Figure out whatever preys upon those suckers and get several of them as pets!!!!

Mrs. Schmitty said...

I would move if I saw that! YIKES!

Crazy Working Mom said...

Ewww...I HATE snakes. :(

I cannot believe that you had that HUGE thing in your yard, where your kids play!!!

Aimee said...

OMG you know you are feeding the Alabama stereotypes right? lol

That glass "lizard" is kind of pretty. But I wouldn't touch it. lol

mommiebear2 said...

*Shudder* I do not like snakes. I dont care if they are itty bitty or the size of my Saturn, they need to stay way away from me. :)

mommiebear2 said...

Oh, I almost forgot! I totally blame you for this - today I was creating a shipment for a customer and they were all "we're shipping magnets" and I spelled it this way "magnuts" and then was all oops, thats a friend's son's name. Heehee!

Jenny said...

If I saw one of those in my yard, I'd never go outside again. Ok, maybe not "never", but let's just say as close to never as one can get without it being never! I HATE SNAKES!!

Mrs. Schmitty said...

Stop on by my place today, I've got something for you!

Keri said...

Snakes are the one thing that can make The Mighty Hunter scream like a little girl. Yes, The Mighty HUNTER.

scream.
like.
a.
girl.

His opinion is that the only non-poisonous and non-deadly snake is one whose head has been detached from its body with a long-handled hoe or a shotgun.

For the Love... said...

Jenny - that is a very dead snake. There was some Joe Pesci in Goodfellas type violence going on.

Motomom - I did not do the shooting, I was hiding in my office peaking out of the window. Everytime I see that picture it gives me the heebs.

Betti - Black King Snakes are what eat them....ugggggg

Mrs. Schmitty - It was considered

Crazy Working Mom - I know! This lady at baseball practice last night was telling us how she ran over TWO of them on her riding mower!!!!! With my luck the detatched head would fling up and the fangs would stick right into my leg!

Aimee - just because it is a stereotype doesn't mean it can't be true! LOL! I live in an area where copperheads and moccasins are abundant. A little girl was bitten last week and had to be flown to Children's in B'ham...People around here are on edge.

MommieBear2 - You are preaching to the choir...They scare the crap out of me.
I can't believe you wrote Magnuts...that sounds like something I would totally do!

Coach J - until hubby cuts grass back down to the dirt we will not be playing outside. Plus I am being VERY careful when I reach down to turn a spigot on.

AuburnGirlAlways - I go with the gun, I am unwilling to get close enough to the thing to use a hoe. Even after they are dead they have to be disposed of....

Mrs. Schmitty - I am all atwitter! I have actually done a happy dance!!!!!Thanks so much!

Anonymous said...

We used to tame wild snakes when I was younger but rattlesnakes get womped...no questions asked.

Anonymous said...

Oh my God, you just gave me the shivers. I once stepped on a gardener snake and I pissed my pants. That rattlesnake would have made me shit, even if I spied it from 50 feet away. Yikes!

Trixie Twatwaffle said...

Yeah, that think in the first picture - thats a f'ing snake. Forget what he said. It's a snake. He don't know squat.