The One Where I Drop Dead....

So we are in Wal-Mart, me and the 3 monkeys, and we find ourselves in the area of personal hygiene with all of the bins of little travel size soaps and shampoos and stuff. The kids each have a few bucks and are all over the cute little samples. I am waiting patiently, they can spend $100 of your money before you can say "boo!" but let them have $2.74 of their own money and you are gonna be there all frickin day. I notice that my middle child has spotted something in one of the lower bins and is loading up.

He stands up and has 5 miniatures of this in his hot little hands

KY WARMING MASSAGE GEL!

5 of them!!!!!

Middle Boy: "Mom, I want these"

Me: "??????" *couldn't talk yet, wondering if this is how the start of a stroke feels.....*

Middle Boy: *slower and louder* "M O M, I have enough money"

Me: "Put those down, they are not for you" *my left arm is starting to hurt*

I abruptly whip the buggy around the end of the aisle, on two wheels, and he is still talking...

"But Mom, they are for massage..."

Me: "PUT THEM BACK, THEY ARE FOR MOMMYS AND DADDYS"

I am leaving his ass in the dust, and I never do this, the kids are never out of my site in a store, period. The other two have broken into a jog just to keep up, and I hear his final words, "I was just going to use them to massage myself...."

Aaaauuuugaaa, something in my brain just popped..................