It's Alive!

Yes it is, or rather, I am. I have a wonderful holiday colored sinus infection and the kids have been out of school for 9 days. It is kind of like the longest car ride ever...but instead of "How much farther is it?" I am hearing "How many more days till Christmas?" They have been out of school so long that they have lost the ability to determine which day of the week it is much less the calendar date.




On an aside....have y'all seen this:

It is the "Electric Shocking Duel" and is exactly what it sounds like. Each player grabs a joystick and the fun begins. The first round delivers a mild shock and if both players manage to retain their grip round 2 begins. With each round the intensity of the shock increases. The player to hold on the longest wins. I want one.

These next few days are my favorite of the year and I am enjoying every minute. Tonight we will be at my parent's house...good food will be eaten, a fire will be burning and we will all enjoy being together. I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas and I will be back soon!

Christmas Tan

Ohhhh...the weather outside is frightful...this heat is not delightful
So if you were wanting snow...the answer's no,no, no, no, no, no no....

Seriously, July called it wants its weather back.

Cookies and Good Friends....

Margaret is too nice. I have been almost totally absent from blog life in the last few weeks and she still loves me....lookit:

Right back at you Margaret and thanks even though I totally do not deserve it.

Today I am attempting a half-double Lindy with a triple twist...AKA finishing my Christmas shopping. What a relief it will be...or should be...now I just get to twist in the wind hoping that all of the deliveries arrive before the 24th. I am a huge fan of "a bird in the hand" but some of the items I wanted were only available on-line.

In other news...Magnut's teacher called me last night. She was going to send a note home yesterday but says that she was so sick that she had to leave school to go to the doctor. She says she thinks it is something like pneumonia....but will be at school this week anyway...Oi.

She was calling about the 3rd grade Christmas party. She wants me to bring something baked...like cookies or brownies...not one of the weird guys that hang out behind the city park. So I am thinking that baked does not necessarily imply that they were made in my kitchen....then she pointed out that there are 19 kids in Magnut's class. Still not worried...Wal-Mart makes big arse boxes of Christmas cookies. It was the the next bit..."Why don't you pick a Christmas treat that is special to Magnuts...something you could make together..." Shite. Think she would believe that Magnuts is partial to Sam's Club Fudge Brownies? That the sound of the plastic container opening evokes strong memories from Christmas past......

Culling the nuts...

MonkeyBoy was busy copying homework from the board when his teacher began to speak:

"The word of the day is simian."

Only she pronounced it SIM-MAYAN

MonkeyBoy choked, excused himself, and checked his dictionary to make sure that there was not some secondary accepted pronunciation that he was unaware of. There was not. She repeated the word all through the day...MonkeyBoy almost wet himself.

Culling the nuts...a term our school system should really familiarize themselves with...

Not That There Is Anything Wrong With That...

Last night during dinner MonkeyBoy was telling us about his nemesis' latest ploy. His nemesis is a cute little girl in his class who is always giving him the business. Yesterday in class she announced that MonkeyBoy and his best friend are gay; not that there is anything wrong with that. She said that because they always want to sit next to each other they must be in love. Reminds me of when we used to say "well if you like them so much why don't you just marry them..."

MonkeyBoy is convinced that she is in love with him....I asked him what evidence he had to back up this little theory. This was met with eye rolling and these words "Mom, girls are always mean to the boys they like....don't you ever watch cartoons anymore..."

Oi.

Wednesday...

Blogger was not being nice yesterday so I could not post when I had the chance.

I have a huge case of Christmas fever and am really behind on all my blog stuff...especially reading and commenting on the 1 billion sitting in Google reader....

I am trying to get my non-virtual chores done before I dive into that pool..

Back soon...I only have 8 days left to shop while the FlyingMonkeys are still in school....

My Christmas Present to You

Y'all are NOT going to believe what I got my hot little hands on! This weekend we had to go back to the dealership to re-sign some stuff and to finally get Rob's car detailed. Instead of sitting around for the 2+ hours it would have taken they gave us a "dealer" car to take to lunch.

I noticed a piece of paper sticking out from under my seat and was stunned to discover it was an internal dealership memo. A memo that details the way that they want the salesman to screw you on your trade in!!!!!!

It is one thing to suspect they are messing with you, it is another entirely to see their methods detailed on paper. So...if you are planning to trade in a vehicle make sure you read this first. Pay special attention to the 2nd to last statement on the second page.

***I typed these two pages EXACTLY as they were printed....so the grammatical errors below are for once not mine***
{PAGE 1}
TRADE EVALUATION PROCESS

1) PRAISE THE TRADE UP UNTIL PAPERWORK STARTS
00A) CREATES ANTICIPATION OF GOOD DEAL FOR CUSTOMER
ooB) BUILDS REPORT WITH CUSTOMER
ooC) IF YOU LIKE THE CUSTOMER'S CAR THEY WILL LIKE YOU

2) DO SILENT WALKAROUND WITH CUSTOMER
ooA) DEVALUES TRADE IN CUSTOMER MIND
ooB) ALLOWS TIME TO GATHER EXTRA INFO ABOUT TRADE AND CUSTOMER
ooC) KEEPS CUSTOMER INVOLVED IN SALE

3) COMPLETE ENTIRE FORM
ooA) USE CLIP BOARD
ooB) WRITE LEGIBLY
ooC) WRITE DOWN TAG INFO
ooD) ASK CUSTOMER RATE TRADE

{PAGE 2}
CUSTOMER TRADE IN EVALUATION SURVEY

Get a clip board and get a trade in evaluation form. Never do without a clipboard.

Salesperson walks around the trade-in with customer.

SP: "Let me see the keys to the car you are selling us, my manager wants me to ask you a couple of questions about the care and maintenance of your vehicle."

Sales person touches every door ding, crack on the windshield, faded paint, bald tires and body damage. Open the trunk and look at the spare and jack.

Write the problems all over the evaluation.

You need to ask the customer all of the questions on this form.

Even if their ashtray is filled with cigarette butts still ask them if anyone has ever smoked in their vehicle.

"Did you buy this vehicle with the Alabama Environmental Protection Package?"

Get estimated payoff initially and then call and get a exact payoff from the lender when it is available.

After you ask all of the questions ask the customer "On a scale of 1-10 how would you rate your vehicle 1 being it does not run and 10 being brand new." If the customer says it is an 8 ask them "are you sure?" with some doubt in your voice. You always want them to rate their car a 7 or less.

Remember: You are trying to devalue their car without telling them that their car is worthless.

Some car salesman out there might read this and be hacked off...sorry, I have never bought a car that I felt like I paid too little for. So consider this a public service...if this little post can keep just one person's trade in rated at an 8 then I feel like it was all worth it.

Knowledge is power...yada yada yada....