For those of you not from the South, the title of this blog may be a bit misleading. In this case, "For the love" is actually short for "For the love of God what the hell were you thinking you crazy....." With 3 kids it has really helped me cut back on the WTFs.
I am starting this blog in hopes that it will cheer me up. 2 of my favorite things will be coming to an end in the next week: school and free cold air. Living in the DEEP south makes me a huge fan of free cold air (winter, early spring, late fall), you would be too if your average summer power bill was in or around $450. As far as school being out, kids home all day, nuf said.
Anyway, there are 5 of us and we live on a farm. Our closest neighbors are almost a mile away; you could run butt naked laps around our house and no one would ever know. You may ask yourself how I know this, well it sure as hell wasn't me, I never run - I have a car, but my boys....
So to get this blog started, a little story:
Yesterday, when I got home from taking the monkeys to school I left my car window open about 4 inches. After lunch I needed to head to town to run some errands, I jumped in my van, whipped it in reverse and headed for the road. That is when something brown and loud caught my attention from the back seat. I am freaking out, throw the car in park and fling myself out. THERE IS A FLIPPIN BIRD BANGING ITS STUPID BUTT INTO EVERY WINDOW IN MY VAN! After my heart starts again, I open the driver's side sliding door, the bird moves to the back of the van. I open the tailgate and the little pecker flys to the front, I move around and open the other sliding door. Now the bird has 3 GIANT holes to fly out of, so of course it chooses to fly into the small space between the open sliding door and the van. I am picturing how gross it is going to be if I can't get this, clearly insane, bird out of there. I move to the rear of the van to try to get the bird out, it turns and flys straight out and right at my face. I scream like the girl I am and drop to the ground.
Moral of this story: If you see bird poop on your arm rest check the back seat before you buckle up.
6 comments:
Your first post and you cracked me up already.
Brilliant.
Too funny - I'll be adding your blog to my many daily reads
Thank you to both of you!
girl, if they only knew what a small picture of your life this is!!kat
Holy crap that's funny stuff... yeah, on my "list" already.... after two posts... You rock.
Holy Crap, are we related?? This pretty much happened to me my first year of college. Bff and I were chilling in the mall parking lot waiting for her boyfriend to get off of work. We had the back doors open to my car cause it was H.O.T. being summertime in Houston and all. A damn bird flies right into the backdoor's window and then crashes to the floor. We think the bird is prolly injured so we put it in the backseat to drive it to the vet. Long story short, bird wakes up and starts flapping around my car while we're driving. We scream and pull into a gas station, jump out of the car, and my car keeps driving because I did not put it in park (with bird still inside).
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