Several years ago Santa brought my children a miniature horse. Santa's helper located this animal at a farm a few miles from our house, so I had a chance to go check him out. The man that owns this particular farm is a goober, at 240lb I would have really rather not seen him mount the little horse to show me how gentle it was.
A few weeks later the kids had the ultimate Christmas fantasy come true, they got a pony.
Things went really well until he was introduced to our two mares, he was supposed to be a gelding, and it turns out he was the biggest horn-ball on earth. He managed to throw both mares into estrus in less than 48 hours. Life at the barn went from rated G to XXX in a matter of days. I had him checked out by the vet, who confirmed that he was a gelding, so now I am thinking "What tha....".
He got so buck wild that I now had to chase his butt down to get a lead on him. The walk from the barn to the house was crazy, he would call to the mares and they would go nuts trying to get out of the fence. He was like some black hairy Lothario.
Eventually I quit taking him out for the kids to ride, and allowed him to live in studly-hood with the mares. It was around this time that he discovered a way out of the fence, he found a place that he was just small enough to get through. He would take off, up the driveway and across the Hwy. The mares would just go insane, calling and banging into stuff. Eventually someone would call me and tell me he was out and I had the fun job of chasing him down on foot. I hated this horse. He HAD to go, it was him or me and he couldn't drive the kids to school; plus as I have mentioned before, I DON'T run, all of this chasing him was really starting to piss me off.
This nice young Mom and her Mother came out to take a look at him. I met them at the barn and was telling them how gentle he was, and "oh yes he is great with kids...." (he really was as long as there was no mare within 100 square miles of him) They were petting him and he was actually behaving. Then my dog (a St. Bernard) walks over so that she is face to face with the horse. She had a piece of deer fat in her mouth and proceeded to tease the stupid horse with it. When she dropped it and leaned to get it the damn horse bit her on the back of her head...This is when I dropped the price $50...gentle my butt.
So money was exchanged, and I am trying to get this albatross loaded in the trailer before I end up having to pay them to take him. He loses his flippin mind, raring up, snorting, and causing the mares to follow in kind. We ended up throwing a shirt on his head to blind/calm him, and were able to walk him right in the trailer.....as in right into the side of it, WHAAP. Eventually I got him lined up and he was good to go.
About a month later I got a very angry phone call from the lady that bought the horse, apparently the little bugger had impregnated two of her mares (think hill). Can you say undescended testicle...........
8 comments:
Figures!
You may as well go ahead and write about your brother's emus so our family will be three for three in animal care! M
You are going to get such interesting hits from the phrase "black, hairy lothario".
Well, that li'l nut explains EVERYTHING, now doesn't it?!
Ya'll I am just so glad she didn't bring his butt back here!
why would your dog have deer fat in its mouth? Really. Please explain to this city girl.
Margaret - Where I live hunting season is a BIG deal. During this time I will find all kinds of deer parts in my yard, my dogs just love bringing them home. While I get why my dog was all over it, the horse was just being an ass.
you left out sooo much to that story, like about how k. couch was there, and how he got "trapped" inside the trailer w/ the moron, inbred pony!!!!! LOL!!!
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