NO! I Don't Want Those Panties Back....

Once upon a time, a long long long time ago, I was in the Army. I thought it would be interesting, the recruiter (read: big fat liar) told me about things like bivouac, the Army version of camping, but failed to mention that there would be no beer, campfire, talking, or lights. He also failed to mention "The Tower of Terror," no kidding that is it's real name, and I believe it says it all.



At the end of Basic Training we marched 100,000 miles up and down the hills aptly named Misery and Agony, "camped out" for a few days, then marched back. While out there we had all kinds of fun, digging foxholes, peeing in the woods, not showering and my absolute favorite - "tactical field chow." That just means that we had to belly crawl from tree to tree to get to our food. I understand these tactics, kind of, but there was an event that seemed in glaring contradiction to all of the hard core training...on day 2 we put on our extra uniform and sent out the funky one to be laundered. Seriously, laundry service in the field, what they couldn't find some rocks and water for us to wash them ourselves?



So here we are, our last night in the woods, our extra-uniforms safely at the laundry, and I am awakened at 4am by the sound of someone crying. It was coming from the tent a few yards behind mine, this girl had had and accident, in her only uniform. See, in order to go to the bathroom you had to zip, buckle, tie, and strap on about 50 different things, grab your gun and run/waddle like hell. She just couldn't make it. The Drill Sergeant hears all of this and yells from his tent for me to give her an extra pair of panties and then go get the extra pair of pants out of his truck (notice he had a truck, guess who did not march the 100,000 miles with us). Well the pants were easy (not for her, they were huge) but it was still dark, digging around in my waterproof bag I grabbed her a pair of what felt like panties.



Later in the afternoon, on the march home, she whispers to me that I sure have some "kinky drawers." She seems to find this hysterical, I am wondering how in the world she came up with "kinky drawers" to describe white cotton granny panties.



It all became horribly clear when we finally arrived back and were released to shower... Imagine my surprise/disgust when I looked over and saw this girl wearing my white cotton sports bra over her hoo hoo dilly...legs through the arm holes, basically giving a "crotchless" panty effect. Blech.....kinky indeed.