There are some things in life that should NEVER be combined. Things like bleach and ammonia or a 13 year old girl with PMS and Chicken Pox.
Sweet merciful God...the first combo will only result in a little mustard gas...the second is actually scary.
I got the call from school at 11am...the Doc-in-a-Box confirmed Pox and we were in front of the drug store by 11:45. The doc recommended an oatmeal bath.
My first clue should have been when Miss-D asked me to get the "Cinnamon" kind....
She expected me to to come lumbering out of the store with a 100lb bag of Quaker Instant Oats on my back...
A warm bath and her favorite breakfast...you can see why she was a little pissy.
We spent the evening saying things like this:
"Boys just leave her alone"
"Boys just stay away from her"
"Yes I know she is being a wench, just move along"
She was laid out on the sofa with pillows and a blanket. She had a little table next to her with juice, a snack and the remote....
All one had to do to earn her wrath was come NEAR her...breach her perimeter and she went off like a howler monkey.
Finally I heard myself telling her, "You have Chicken Pox. You do not have the plague or cancer...suck it up and shut it. You WILL stop shrieking and hissing or I will send your little pock covered behind to your room for the duration!"
*****
To be continued...Monday's Topic- The CDC And You.....
5 comments:
Wow...poor girl, no wait, poor you!
Give her a bath in tomato juice.
Oh wait, no. That's if she tangles with a skunk.
Ummm... yeah. I got nothing.
Except get 3 valium pills. One for her. 2 for you.
Mrs.Schmitty-thank you...cause it is all about me...kidding. She is better now, and with a little luck will be back at school tomorrow.
Margaret-can you send them overnight express?
Oh Sweet Mother of all Evil. That's a terrifying combination.
Hope she feels better soon.
See, that's the type of mothering I do. "Suck it up and zip your lips, child. You're not going to die...unless I kill you."
I feel for the kids, but man alive - I feel for the parents (read: moms) more!
Hang in there hon. Chicken pox aren't forever. (PMS however...well, I'll just keep that bottle of vodka on chill for you, k?)
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