Thursday, February 21, 2008

Dear Burger King,

Yesterday I needed to have it my way, so I came by.

What the hell is the BK Pipe and why am I handing it to my 8 year old?

I am not sure why the new straw/pipe is so frickin thick but the kids really thought it was cool. You could pass a spitball of massive proportion through a straw that that could really do some There was also talk of letting the hamster use it as a water slide.

So if the point was cool toy...well done.

Now let’s talk logistics.

At first I was hesitant; I considered that the larger diameter might require greater suction to actually pull liquid to the top. It does, but not a problem. Let’s move ahead to what happened when I got to the end of my refreshing Diet Coke...

...I am driving my car with the FlyingMonkeys in the back. I shift through the busy intersection, jamming to Delilah, reach for my almost empty cup...shake it a little to settle the last of the drink...move the large hose like straw to my lips...and suck...hard. Tiny droplets of Diet Coke begin their noisy path through the BK Pipe, my lips begin to turn blue from the effort required and then "THUNK".

I like ice. I like to chew it, suck on it...notice that both of those things would take place in my mouth. I am not so fond of the ice bypassing my mouth and heading straight for my lungs.

So now I know, no suckie the icie...but you just know that some igmo is going to do this and then try to sue you ....just like their baby's Mama's Sister's Cousin's Friend did when her coffee was too hot...

Just lettin you know,


elaines630 said...

Thanks for the heads up! :) Good story too!

Sandy said...

Ah yes, the wonderful feeling when the glacier hits the back of the throat and you choke, gag, spit, cough and laugh simultaneously.

Thanks for the heads up. Oh wait, I don't have a hoo.

For the Love... said...

Elaines630-np...thanks for stopping by!

Sandy-I thought BK had taken over the earth?!?!

Leigh said...

Oh, my! Glad you made it through the intersection. Scary.

Chicka said...

Is this a new item? Or just their normal straws? (Tried to google it and couldn't find it.)

When I worked at McD's (many MANY moons ago), we were actually one of the test stores for some products. One of them was a larger straw (supposedly so you could suck up the thicker shakes better). Now I'm a straw snob and hate stores with little dinky ones that feel like you're trying to drink through a swizzle stick.

But of course, I don't want to be choking on ice chunks either! Sheesh.