Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Splish Splash...

Last night after dinner Rob and I took all of the children to the tiny (about 10X15 feet) indoor pool. When I say all of the children I am including not just the FlyingMonkeys but our 4 year niece and a 12 year old friend of the family.

We arrived only to find a teen aged (maybe 14 years old) couple doing things in the pool that were not exactly appropriate. I assumed that the little hussy would unwrap her legs from around her boyfriends waist when she noticed all of us staring. Nope. I assumed that perhaps the boy would quit rubbing all over her when he noticed the 4 year old in the life jacket bobbing in the water behind him. Nope.

Stronger measures were required.

I called Magnuts over, pointed to the center of the pool (also the current location of Romeo&Julliet) and asked to see his best cannonball. Magnuts, being the gifted child that he is, decided to, as they say on American Idol, "make it his own."

The 10 foot running start propelled him to within 6 inches of his target. Before he could even clear the area his brother decided to follow suit...and then because she has to be like the big kids our niece screamed "look at my doggie dive" as she jumped in.

Romeo&Juliet were in the middle of a FlyingMonkey tsunami. They broke apart, both snorking water that had been forced up their noses...victory was ours.

Victory was short lived...the power of the teen aged hormone makes for a strong enemy. It was time for new maneuvers.

I positioned the FlyingMonkeys around the pool...on every side but the shallow one with steps...we were going to burn/splash them out. They began jumping into the pool, water was splashing at such a rate that visibility was reduced. I said loudly..."See kids this is much safer and you can all jump at the same time..." I don't know if anyone could hear that what with all the water in their ears.

Romeo&Juliet tried to hold out but were no match for the FlyingMonkeys...they were effectively herded to the steps at which point they gave up and left.

I had decided that I was prepared to use the nuclear option if the carpet bombing didn't work. That option involved me, fully dressed, doing a super cannon ball right in the center of the pool. It was an option that would have been our last my calculations I could have displaced enough water to turn it into a baby pool...


elaines630 said...

Hahahahahaha! Great use of canon balls!!!

katfish said...

I seem to remember another beach trip when you had to use those manuvers! Although you were the only one jumping in the pool fully clothed!!!! Crack me up!

Jenny, the Bloggess said...

You should totally be a General.

Super B's Mom said...


That is A.W.E.S.O.M.E.

You are my hero.

Margaret said...

I love you and your family. Adopt me please?!?

For the Love... said...

Elaines630-it was awesome!

Katfish-yeah...two nekkid idiots jumped out of what was left of the pool and ran for their lives.

Jenny-I could, but as the enlisted men say-"I work for a living." I am kind of regretting the not going nuclear...they were back on top of each other in the pool today.

SuperB'sMom-I do it for the's all about the kids...and ummmmm making myself laugh until I wet myself (but in the pool who can tell...kidding).

Margaret-If you EVER come near Alabama and do not let me know I will put a pox on your house.