As a parent I have found myself saying all kinds of things I never thought would pass through these lips. It's not just stuff my parents said like: "because I said so" or "pull that fork out of your brother's eye and get me another Champale" (just kidding Mom!).
Generally my bizarre utterings are warnings of some kind....
"MonkeyBoy! Put the knife down or take off the skates for the love of God!" It was a butter knife and he was making a hot dog-but dang..
"Magnuts! Don't jump off the back of that sofa again until we get THIS cast off!"
"Miss-D! Put down the cherries and get off of the top of the refrigerator!"
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T TELL YOU THAT YOU COULD NOT PAINT MY CAR!!!??"
"Miss-D! That is your Grandfather's brand new car not a place for your giant muddy rock collection!" *she responded by sweeping from one side of his hood to the other where they eventually hit the ground, but not before leaving several long deep gashes*
"Quit whining-I have to use cold water to get the raw egg out of your hair or it will cook-suck it up dingus you should not have had an egg fight in the house!!!"
And my new favorite "Magnuts-put those magnets back on the fridge NOW!"
10 comments:
I thought my house was the only one that served champale to their children!
LOL Oh boy I can relate.
"Super B..stop playing with your weiner."
Oh wow, I think I'm in for it: I use the phrase "c'mon, time for stinky stinky" at least once a day - it's undignified but does save my carpet from dog poo . . .
"Stop licking Mommy on the leg!!"
Parenthood makes you deliriously insane. You know, like adding 6 dogs to your house in one week, and naming one Cheeto. :)
ROFLMAO! Yes, I know those days!
Can I pppuuuuuhhhhhlllllleeeeeeeeeeezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzeeeeeeeeeeeeee come over and play? Your house is WAYYYYYY more fun than mine.
Please?????
My son was literally hanging from the chandelier tonight!!! D'oh.
He had climbed up on the table and was swinging on it in the time it took me to turn my back and put his dinner in the microwave!!!
I've already started getting "I don't know from my 2-year-old.
Cora, why did you write all over yourself and mommy's bed?
"I don nowwah."
Cora, you know we only write on paper -- tell mommy why you did this?
"I don nowwah."
Yeah, can Margaret and I come over and play?????
These are great. "Don't jump off the back of that sofa again until we get THIS cast off!" I swear I hear my mom say that to my brother. Just replace cast with stitches. We called River, stitches boy for years.
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