Can you tie them in a knot
Can you tie them in a bow
YES
Meet TRAPUS TITTIEUS --- or in English -my center desk drawer
If I am foolish enough not to make sure that it is COMPLETLY closed, and then dumb enough to lean forward to grab a pen, well, let the screaming begin. If you are curious about what this feels like, find some vice grips....
Someone made a fortune coming up with all of that crap to baby proof our homes, I need some protection for my breastasis. I am thinking one of those laser eyes that keeps your garage door from closing on your car, it will need to be mounted just inside the desk drawer. I will also need something like this:
It will need to be mounted on top of my moniter and wired directly into my breast protecting laser desk beam. And just to be sure that I don't pinch the ever-loving crap out of myself again, I am thinking I should add some kind of audible, something with the volume of an air horn.......
***It has come to my attention that some of the comments are not actually being posted. I have no idea why, I am guessing a glich with Blogger. I have not had the need to moderate or delete any comments, yet, so I am blaming it on Blogger.***
22 comments:
Sadly mine are too small to hang or sag. However since turning 30 they have slowly begun sliding south. I figure by about 60 they will have reached my knees.
I hear ya, sadly. Ouch! Great idea on the Booby Trap. Maybe you can get on NBC's Inventor show (can't remember the name)
Ha ha ha ha!!
You and me both, friend!
You have worse to come! I spilled coffee in my lap while working on the computer and burned my nipples!
Mom
Ouch!!
how 'bout a boob job? my worse was burning my stomach while ironing 8 months pregnant.
Thanks for visiting my blog!
And? OUCH! Your poor girls...
GgaaaaaAAAAaaaahhhHH!
At 19 wks pg, the idea of anything pinching boobies is pure torture - I may be in big trouble 21 weeks from now??
Motomom - count your blessings-the desk drawer is just the only thing I have had them pinched by that I was not too ashamed to mention...In a few years I may actually step on my own nipples...
Mom2emnroo - You find the name of the show and I will cut you in on the profits
Oh, The Joys - oh, I feel your pain
Anonymous (AKA MOM) - I would say over share, but I just talked about shutting mine in a drawer. PS Genetics are a bitch, no?
Mommiebear2 - ouch indeed, I have a purple line on the south side of "girl" # 2
Catfish - I have told you to quit stalking me! Just kidding, I will answer my e-mail when you start answering your phone...LOL and don't be blaming the fact that you have 3 little kids and are moving, whaaa waaaa waaa
WomanWithKids - seriously, since I work for myself I am gonna have to start talking to myself about workmans comp....
Betti - At about 19 weeks my dog decided that my nipple was giving her the "stink eye" and she just jumped over and bit it! (just realized this sounds like I was doing some pervy stiptease for my dog, I was fully dressed, she was just nuts)
Ohh that's funny--I'm going to need to mark your blog for my dose of laughter! Of course, I have NO idea of what you speak, mine sit as high as they did when I grew them. (okay okay when properly holstered they do!).
Very glad to meet you! Stacey
ohmygosh...I'm laughin' so hard at this post. Just wanted to say thank you for dropping by Crazy Working Mom!! You're too funny! I'll be back. :)
You are too funny! I feel your pain as I too have a habit of putting those babies in harm's way too often. Like my daughter's bony elbows! OUCH!
Omg, I have the same exact breastisis problemo.
YOWZA.
Yes, an audible warning would help, just like a speaker on your car. Whenever you come upon an asshole driver, it needs to spew "YO! Asshole! Stay in your own FREEKING lane!"
btw, my boobs double as flashlights at night, so I can see my way around the house without tripping on my own feet. UGH.
And thanks for visiting me, as well. I'll be back, for SURE!
xoxo
Oh, my, very very funny!!! Not a problem I've encountered but sounds like you could win one of those America's Greatest Inventions shows with that alarm system!
ha ha ha... OUCH!
Too freaking funny. I'm laughing so loud. And now I've snorted Coke through my nose.
Owwww, you just made my eyes water.
Hey Pheonix, got any more?
This is so funny....but strange. I feel so at home with other women who's boobs can be tied in a bow. Our hubbies have got to love that trick!! ;)
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